In early September, THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL'S Deacon left Los Angeles and that messy mother/daughter love quagmire behind. But this week he returns with a vengeance, and Sean Kanan couldn't be happier. Especially because Kanan's on-screen departure coincided with a host of cast changes, prompting rumors that he was making a permanent exit, too.

"The single biggest question I got was, 'When are you coming back to the show?' " Kanan says. "I told them, 'Thank you so much for your concern, but I've never been off the show.' I wasn't filming, but I was still on contract. In the last several months there has been a real changing of the guard as far as the actors are concerned, and it was an understandable leap of logic that I might have been let go. It's always difficult dealing with rumors like that, but they were just that - rumors."

Because Kanan has been candid about his past alcohol abuse, the rumors that he was secretly in rehab were especially piercing. "I was mad because my family and friends read those stories," sighs Kanan, "not to mention my bosses. Nobody wants to be talked about behind their back and anyone who says that they don't pay any attention to that is lying. I resent it. By the same token, I know that I was promoting my movies and doing appearances."

In addition to renovating his new Spanish villa-style California home and creating a TV show spotlighting soap actors, Kanan has been promoting two independent films that he starred in and produced. And although he's been in the biz for nearly two decades, the backlash caused by rumors hasn't gotten any easier. "I got calls from people asking, 'Hey, are you OK?' " he sighs. "Suddenly you feel like you're on the defensive. You're trying to defend something that isn't even a tangible reality, and the bottom line is I have never been healthier and happier."

One of the reasons for Kanan's happiness is French model Sonia Michaud, who caught his eye in a restaurant. "I saw her and I was smitten," recalls Kanan, who is divorced from Athena Ubach. "I found out through a friend how to get hold of her, and finally she agreed to go out with me."

Michaud is taking some time away from the catwalk (she works for a couture house in Paris) to spend more time with Kanan and work on their house. "It's coming along," Kanan notes. "Today we are putting in a new fireplace and getting the elevator fixed." Elevator? "The house is four stories, so it's a real pain in the ass without an elevator." They'll show off their new digs next week when they host a Thanksgiving feast. "My whole family is flying in," says the Pennsylvania native. "My mother and father and my sister and her daughter are going to stay with us. And I have relatives, including my grandmother, who live out here. We're going to do an elegant dinner for about 12."

Kanan's personal life hasn't always been this cozy. In April 2001 his former B&B co-star Gladis Jimenez (ex-Carmen Arena; ex-Ramona Caceres, The Young and the Restless) announced that she was expecting Kanan's child. At that point they were no longer involved, but Kanan promised to be actively involved in the child's upbringing "if it is determined he is the biological father," said a spokesperson at the time. Their daughter, Simone, 1, was born later that year.

"I try and keep my daughter and the situation with my ex-wife out of the press as much as I can," Kanan says. "I don't think that's for public consumption. But I'm very proud of the fact that I'm a father. I see her frequently. She recently moved to Mexico with her mother because Gladis got a TV series down there. Hopefully, at some point I'll go down on a weekend and see them."

Kanan says that being a father - especially from a distance - is difficult, so he's taking it one day at a time. "It is a different deal and there is no handbook that comes with it," he says. "I'm trying to do the best I can and take every day and situation as it unfolds. Just be present and loving and try to be the best guy that I can be."

During his time off, Kanan taped the pilot for Behind the Suds, giving viewers a glimpse into the world of soap stars. Kanan will serve as host and a producer ("I'm putting a fair amount of me into it," he cracks) and is currently shopping the show around. "I'm looking at a couple of different deals." He also took his film March (his co-star is Rena Sofer, ex-Lois Ashton, General Hospital) on the road, screening it in Ann Arbor, Mich., where its director, James P. Mercurio, attended school. Kanan beamed when The Ann Arbor News gave March four stars, dubbing it "worth watching. And then watching again." He is currently seeking a distributor to get March released in theaters. (His other film, Chasing Holden, is available on video.)

Kanan's main focus, though, is his return to B&B. "Deacon is going to have a vendetta and be angry - and hopefully funny like he was in the beginning," he says. "I certainly want to infuse some humor into this guy, becuase that's when he's the most interesting."

Will he miss his acting partner Rick Hearst, who used to play Whip (and is now on GH)? "Yeah," replies Kanan. "Rick is my pal. I always equate acting in a large way to being a mercenary. You are hired, you do a job, you leave and move on. You form quick bonds with the people you work with and then, unfortunately, most of the time one of you is off to the next job. But I'll keep in touch with Rick. Rick's a great actor and a great human being."

That means Kanan will be spending more time with other B&B cast mates. "I know I'm going to be working with Ronn Moss (Ridge) and Katherine Kelly Lang (Brooke)," he reveals. Other than that, I don't know what they have in store for me. But I trust that Brad (Bell, executive producer/head writer) is going to come up with something interesting."

Will that "something interesting" be Deacon resuming his involvement with the Forrester femmes? "I think it's over between Deacon and Bridget," Kanan says. "Look, you have to have passion; you have to have that divine spark. I don't think it was ever there between Deacon and Bridget. Deacon loved Bridget in a very protective, guilt-ridden, perverse sort of way, but it's not the way a man loves a woman."

Brooke and Deacon do have that spark. "Absolutely," he agrees. Deacon and Brooke had an animal attraction to one another. But the flip side of that is that's not enough to carry a relationship. It's almost like if you synthesized Bridget and Brooke, then it would be a healthy relationship."

Either way, Kanan is ready to get back into the thick of things. "After three months off, I'm re-enthused and revitalized at the idea of working again with people that I care about so much. I'm fired up."

Check out Kanan's bio at soaps.about.com/soapoperaweekly.