When we met BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL'S Deacon last November, he was one bad-ass dude. With equal parts anger, bravado and glowering intimidation, Sean Kanan portrayed a sinister, swaggering deadbeat dad out to score a quick pile of money.

Yet beneath Deacon's machismo, Kanan showed us a flicker of humanity. The real breakthrough came when Deacon's trashy girlfriend (the now-dead Carmen) threatened to kill his son. Deacon was dumbfounded by his genuine concern for the child. From there, he fell for Amber (little Eric's legal guardian) and was determined to make the three of them into a family. Amber's rejection only strengthened Deacon's resolve to become the kind of man she could love.

The metamorphosis from hardened bully to softhearted family man was made plausible by Kanan's heartfelt performance. He brought out a playfulness in Deacon that wasn't contrived or corny. Even Deacon's trademark scowl was replaced by a soulful expression. As he fumbled on his road to redemption, new facets of his personality emerged.

After Amber was dumped by Rick, she was susceptible to Deacon's earnest charms. Just as they were about to make love, Rick showed up and begged Amber for another chance. Deacon's emotions were unleashed as he tried to convince Amber not to go. "I feel like this weight that I've carried my whole life has been lifted from me, and you did that," he pleaded. "I've always been an angry, miserable guy full of hostility, and I didn't know why. And then you came along and somehow you helped me pick up the pieces, and I started to rebuild myself. I'm still not whole yet. That's why I can't let you go. Please don't leave me."

Profoundly moved, Amber nevertheless chose Rick. But having seen a little window into Deacon's soul, Amber can't go back to hating him - any more than we can.